Why we all need little luxuries in our lives
Also featuring borecore, water bottles and voice notes.
I had to make a very important decision at the end of last month. Should I buy my favourite Clipper Snore & Peace nighttime tea and not be able to afford public transport for the day, meaning I’d have to walk an hour and a half in the wind and rain to meet my Granny? Or should I take the bus there and back and be dry, but be missing the most essential part of my evening routine that night? I chose the nighttime tea. Why? Because this little luxury is my comfort blanket, and without it, I’d feel lost.
Among the gloomy news cycle and the cost-of-living crisis, I’ve found myself often buying things that aren’t essential for survival but bring me a moment of joy each day. Sometimes it's a 60p creme egg, a takeaway oat milk chai latte or a bunch of daffodils from Lidl. And, as I discovered by asking several of you, “What is something that, no matter how broke you are, you will always buy because it lifts your spirits?” I’m not alone on this. Many of us are purchasing goods that cost relatively little but offer significant emotional value. We are searching for products that give us a taste of luxury but don’t break the bank. AKA, buying expensive designer clothes might be out, but buying bath salts is very much in.
This desire for “affordable luxuries," also known as “the lipstick effect," is common during financially hard times. According to “the lipstick effect” theory, coined by Estée Lauder’s Leonard Lauder, during economic downturns, people spend less on big-ticket items and increasingly spend their income on small, indulgent purchases. This consumption pattern occurred during the 1929 Great Depression, the dot-com bubble crash in the 1990s and the 2008 financial crisis. And amid the ongoing cost-of-living crisis, UK retailers are witnessing this trend once more.
Senior consumer lifestyles analyst at Mintel Francesca Smith claims that "the lipstick effect" manifests differently for different people. However, regardless of whether it's giving a much-needed emotional lift, serving as a diversion from everyday stresses, or just being enjoyable, there's always a strong emotional component to these consumption decisions. In an interview with the Independent, Smith pointed out that chocolate is an inexpensive way for consumers to indulge themselves and get a quick pick-me-up, with 68% of chocolate consumers eating chocolate because it is an affordable way to improve their mood. Smith also highlighted an increase in the number of underwear purchases, particularly among women, in the last year, putting this down to the feel-good factor and confidence boost these items provide.*
Among Raw Talk’s readers, buying flowers, takeaway coffees, getting your nails done, baked goods, chocolate, and alcoholic drinks with friends were the most popular responses, with most respondents putting these consumption choices down to the joy these products and experiences bring.
Other more niche responses included M&S serrano ham and manchego rollitos, Burford Browns (eggs), crispy chilli oil (“from a rip-off Italian deli”), Fox’s Jam ‘n’ Cream biscuits, a lottery ticket, jalapeno houmous, a weekly hot yoga class, Lurpak butter, tanning drops, Clarins deodrant and Co-Op Chardonnay salt and vinegar crisps. One reader even said they would go two weeks without butter for new Tupperware from Tkmaxx!
Spotify was nominated by one reader because “what’s life without music and something good to listen to for the lows and the highs?” - preach - and a chicken shwarma from Al Zains on The Curry Mile, Manchester, offers much-needed relief on a hangover for another. Despite pine nuts being “stupidly expensive,” one avid pesto subscriber refills her jampot weekly so that she can make her comforting homemade pesto pasta. Another reader said drugs, with the explanation, “I’m not really a person to splash on something to make me feel better materialistically, like nails, but I’ll always splash out for a good time.” However, my favourite response was: “Beautiful birthday cards !! My recent obsession haha. I buy them in bulk and then keep them for whoever’s birthday, then inevitably forget to ever post one, so I just end up collecting them! Half of them I wish I could just send to myself!! Card browsing and buying generally are one of my favourite pastimes; the prettier the better, and it really makes me happy!” If the number of exclamation marks in this message doesn’t express the joy this person’s little luxury brings to them, I don’t know what will.
A lovely friend of mine treats herself to a little luxury once in a while because she says it’s super important to invest in things that make you feel normal. I couldn’t agree more. As she highlighted, this feeling is obviously different from person to person, but the consumption of particular products can make us feel more human and better in difficult times.
When British troops liberated the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp on April 15, 1945, they discovered 40,000 emaciated prisoners and 10,000 dead bodies (among them Anne Frank). The conditions in the camp startled the troops so much that many of them openly wept. Over the course of the following few weeks, they scrubbed the survivors, burned down the diseased cottages and buried the dead in mass graves. Although 500 prisoners a day were still dying, some rays of optimism began to enter the camp.
A large, anonymous consignment of lipstick was one of these hopeful glimmers. Though many of the soldiers were initially irritated by the cosmetics' apparent inutility given the urgent need for many more essential supplies, they soon had a change of heart.
British Lieutenant Colonel Mervin W. Gonin, wrote in his diary: “It was shortly after the British Red Cross arrived, though it may have no connection, that a very large quantity of lipstick arrived. This was not at all what we men wanted, we were screaming for hundreds and thousands of other things and I don’t know who asked for lipstick. I wish so much that I could discover who did it, it was the action of genius, sheer unadulterated brilliance. I believe nothing did more for these internees than the lipstick. Women lay in bed with no sheets and no nightie but with scarlet red lips, you saw them wandering around about with nothing but a blanket over their shoulders, but with scarlet red lips. I saw a woman dead on the post-mortem table and clutched in her hand was a piece of lipstick. At last someone had done something to make them individuals again, they were someone, no longer merely the number tattooed on their arm. At last, they could take an interest in their appearance. That lipstick started to give them back their humanity.”
I’m by no means comparing the cost-of-living crisis to the Holocaust, but I think this diary extract exemplifies the importance of little luxuries in making people feel more human. Every day, people face criticism for their consumption choices. Millennials are told they could buy homes if they didn’t spend all their money on avocado toast; homeless people are judged for buying alcohol and cigarettes instead of food; and people question whether those on benefits really need them if they have a smartphone. Society expects people who are struggling to struggle harder. Yet we don't question wealthy people in the same way when they spend money on crazy things, such as Steve Cohen’s 14-foot preserved shark, which cost between $8 to $12 million. At the end of the day, it is about finding room in our budgets to be able to purchase things that make our lives worth living. Whether it’s a pint with a mate, a nice loaf of bread, or some plush, new socks, only you can determine that.
Conversation Starters
Is borecore taking over our lives? - Lately, I have begun to notice how things that used to be deemed dull are now cooler than ever. All over TikTok, young people are filming themselves carrying out mundanities, such as remembering to bring reusable bags to the supermarket, tidying their bedrooms, doing their nighttime routines, sorting out their alphabetised spice shelf, leaving parties early enough to stick to their usual bedtimes and crocheting on the sofa whilst binge-watching a TV series. The list goes on and on. And people are obsessed. Many of us are fascinated by #dayinthelife videos, which have received over 23.2 billion views on TikTok, and #nightin has 392.1 million views on the platform. You would think that after we were all made to stay at home during the lockdown years, we were all a bit done with being boring. However, are we to blame? Club culture is dying, with over a third of UK clubs closing down since March 2020, and prices of food and drink are hitting an all-time high, making going out with family and friends more expensive. It seems we’ve been forced to turn our #fomo into #jomo (the fear of missing out → the joy of missing out).
A screenshot taken from Tiktok Can stress actually be good for you? - Usually, we think of being stressed as a purely negative feeling. You might be worried about paying your bills, hitting your monthly sales target or breaking up with your partner. Life can be stressful. While long-term, chronic stress can be extremely detrimental to our health and well-being, there is a school of thought that suggests some stress can in fact be beneficial. Enter - eustress: positive, motivating stress that can lead to personal growth and help us feel good about life. Examples include moving house, writing a book, meeting new people, hosting an event, or starting a new job. All too often, we think about these experiences in a distressful way, when the stress that these experiences cause is productive and energising because we are nearing on or accomplishing our goals. Eustress is something to be championed, and according to clinical psychologist Dr Jenna Vyas-Lee in an interview with Glamour magazine, a few of the ways we can harness eustress is by setting realistic goals, cultivating a growth mindset, celebrating the small wins, seeking social support and remaining flexible.
Are nicotine pouches the new vapes? - For the last decade or so, Gen Z has been obsessed with vaping. Many users started with Shisha pens. Then came the chunkier hard-core vapes that only those wearing Supreme would use. At the start of university, it was all about the slick and chic Juuls, but by the end, a lot of our generation were hooked on Elf Bars and Lost Marys (although, apparently our smoking habits are going back to the old days, as there has been an uptick in young people smoking pipes and cigars). Last year, there were about 772,800 exclusive non-cigarette tobacco users, compared with 151,200 in 2013, according to a study published in the journal Nicotine and Tobacco Research. But these non-cigarette tobacco users aren’t just smoking vapes. They are also turning to nicotine pouches. Are you switching it up too? These under-the-gum nicotine pouches are similar prices to vapes, can be used inside and are supposed to be less harmful. But I’m not convinced they can completely replace the satisfaction of blowing out a gigantic cloud of disgusting iced mango flavour.
Lorna’s loves and loathes of the week
Love
My water bottle - You will rarely catch me without my one-litre navy reusable bottle by my side. I carry it around like you might expect to see a child clutching their teddy. Off on a walk? It’s coming. Going to the supermarket? It’s coming. Nipping to the bathroom? It’s coming. Trip to the pub? Are you joking? Obviously, it’s coming. I’m not sure when I became so obsessed with constantly being hydrated. Although, thinking about it, maybe it was my old water bottle which caused this addiction, as it told me I had to “keep chugging”, “remember my goals” and that I had “no excuses” to stop drinking at 6 pm. Just like getting my 10,000 steps a day, I must drink 3 litres of water daily. And it seems I’m not alone. #Watertok is one of Tiktok’s latest movements (people filming themselves drinking water) and the infamous #stanleycup got over 7 billion views on the platform. Not only does this bad boy keep me hydrated, but it acts as the perfect rest for my chin when I’m pretending to write, it is a brilliant prop for my phone if I want to watch a film during a long train journey and it would 100% knock someone out cold if they attempted to mug me on my way home. If you haven’t got one now, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. I say, sack the therapy and get a water bottle. It is the best emotional support you will ever invest in.
The Stanley Quencher Credit: Alex Steele
In Limbo
Voice notes - Don’t get me wrong, I love a voice note. They leave less room for misinterpretation, save me having to type up an essay on a tiny screen and I just love to hear some of my friends ranting away about how their boss has pissed them off or the horrific date they went on the night before. I find voice notes can offer that feeling of getting something off your chest in the same way that chatting to a friend in a cafe can. But what I can’t stand is: Why do we always have to play them back out loud to ourselves as if we have no idea what we’ve just said? Like, funnily enough Derek, when I’m sitting on the bus first thing in the morning, I don’t want to hear you telling your partner that your dog has shat all over the flat and that you didn’t have time to clean it up, so you’ve left Dylan the gloves and wipes on the side to sort it out when he’s back from his 12 hour night shift and that you will buy him a takeaway tonight as an apology. Or, the intimate details of Saskia’s weird sex dream whilst I’m queuing up to buy my lunch. And yes, I hear you asking, how do I know these people’s names? Because so many of you also love to sign off with, “Love you, Saskia,” as if the person receiving the voice note has no idea who they are listening to.
Loathe
Being asked to attach my social media handles to a job application - During my first few years on social media, my parents would regularly remind me to be careful about what I was posting on the platforms in case a future employer were to look me up and find a picture of me chaining on rollies with a bottle of wine in hand outside the school gates. I obviously thought this picture was epic, but my parents told me that it would be a firm no from the head of KPMG if it were to get into his hands. And yet now, when I’ve been applying for jobs, comments, such as “applications with social media handles will be prioritised” and “applications without social media handles will not be accepted” are rife. Are we not allowed to keep anything private from our future bosses anymore? It seems that we are living in an era where oversharing is the new normal. Social media handles are the new phone numbers; colleagues tell you about their affairs; and even Prince Harry’s told us how he put Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream on his frostbitten penis, only to find the smell reminded him of his late mother. Does anyone else envision this sight every time they see someone smearing it on their lips? In all fairness to this complaint, my Instagram is public so that I can promote my work, so I’m basically sharing it with the world anyway, but they were even asking for my Facebook! I mean all that is on there are my random Facebook groups, Jenny’s birthday party event page and “OMG! Andy from MIC is just soooo sexyyyyyyy! Why is he with Louise and not me? :( Who’s excited to watch the New York season tonight?!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxx” But, I guess maybe they might want to get involved in a “like for looks.”
Credit: Elizabeth Arden
That’s all for now. I hope next time you strike up a conversation with someone, it won't have to be “The weather really has been awful lately hasn’t it?”, “Any fun plans this evening?” or even worse… “How was your commute today?”
Love LP xx
P.S. Please follow me on Instagram @rawtalkwithlornaperry