Having an Instagram boyfriend is no longer a joke, it’s a necessity
Also featuring General election merch, the potential relegation of Club Pret and energy drinks
In 2017, yet another Instagram post went viral. The picture? A boyfriend sprawled awkwardly across a beach, trying to capture the perfect candid shot of his girlfriend. The image was posted by the account Boyfriends of Instagram, created with the hope of encouraging followers to share funny behind-the-scenes footage of men going to great lengths to get the ultimate shot of their girlfriends for “the gram.” The account swiftly became the “original anti-influencer influencer club” and now boasts nearly 300,000 followers. Usually, these photos depict men in precarious positions, from balancing on the edge of a hot tub to nearly falling off waterfalls. These devoted partners quickly earned the nickname “Instagram husbands,” and posts were often captioned, “Not all heroes wear capes.” Mainstream media outlets also joined in on the photo-duty fun, sharing their favourite memes and offering advice on “the art of being an Instagram boyfriend.”
Usually, social media trends come and go, but seven years later, people are still using #BoyfriendsofInstagram to poke fun at these ridiculous moments. Over the years, watching these “Insta boyfs” contort themselves to get their partner’s perfect picture has provided much entertainment for my friends and me. Once, while enjoying a cocktail on the beach, my friend and I were on the floor in hysterics as one man spent over an hour shapeshifting in the sand, wading in the sea and even digging a hole in the ground to ensure he got his girlfriend’s best angle. His patience was admirable. While we often discuss the unpaid labour women perform as primary caregivers (as we should), what about the unpaid work of Instagram boyfriends? The average salary of a photographer in London is £35,000, so being an unpaid Insta boyf seems to represent a new level of dedication and love unbeknownst to me.
However, despite laughing about the #BoyfriendsofInstagram phenomenon for years, I’ve recently become concerned. Nowadays, everywhere you go there is someone papping their partner or friend from various angles to get the ultimate “I’m having the most amazing time” snap. The friend or partner will then check out said pics and either resume a posey position because their partner or friend hasn’t quite taken the right one yet (despite taking over a hundred!) or the two of them will sit down, glued to their separate devices, as they curate the perfect post to share with their followers to give off the impression that they are having the “best day ever!” Little conversation with that friend or partner will occur.
Watching these events unfold makes me feel like we are no longer living in a world where there is a clear distinction between “Insta vs reality,” but one where the virtual world is now the dominant reality because we have been conditioned to evaluate every living moment for its social media content worthiness. I hate to admit it, but I sometimes catch myself falling into this trap of assessing things for their social media value too. I’ll take a picture of a sunset and think, “That would look good on Instagram.” Even on a recent holiday, despite deleting social media for the week, I subconsciously took pictures with Instagram in mind. So even though I wasn’t using social media, I was still thinking about it. I know I’m not alone. For many, beautiful backdrops, delicious food and memorable moments are no longer appreciated for their inherent value but for their potential social media appeal. It’s not uncommon to see a couple at a viewpoint or on a white, sandy, crystal clear water beach spend hours taking pictures and uploading their content, only to pack up and leave without even enjoying the place for its true worth, not just through the lens of a camera.
The reason why the prevalence of the #BoyfriendsofInstagram worries me is because I think this perpetual “need” for social media content is to blame for why so many of us feel so lonely. Despite us supposedly being more connected than ever, thanks to social media (the hypocrisy lol), 33% of adults struggle with loneliness worldwide. The problem is so significant that last year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) declared loneliness a “global health threat.” Our constant desire to document and share detracts from living in the moment and genuinely connecting with those around us. Couples and friends often focus on capturing and posting their activities rather than enjoying them together. We’re too busy getting the perfect picture to be chatting about what we’ve been up to, how we are or even what we are having for tea. Conversations are dying out because we are too busy “doing it for the gram.”
Even some of life’s milestones, ones we’ve long dreamed of, are not immune from this “constant need to document” trend. For example, while visiting the Acropolis last week, I witnessed a man proposing to his girlfriend. Not even a minute after she had the ring on her finger, he was back down on one knee making sure to get a social media-acceptable snap of her and her big fat rock. I get it, it’s an important moment in life, so why shouldn’t it be documented? But after she was happy with his pics, she took matters into her own hands and walked off to the other side of the ruins alone, papping herself and her newly acquired jewellery in the better lighting. The fiancée was left being congratulated by random strangers on his own. (N.B. It is not always men on photo duty; I’ve seen lots of #Instawives too).
But is it any wonder we’ve become like this? In the past, it was money and titles which granted access to exclusive experiences and social approval. Today, for many, it’s all about social media followers and likes if you want to be accepted. As I mentioned in a previous newsletter, job applications are even requesting that you attach your social media handles so they can gauge your influence in society. Although many of us might not like to admit this, we increasingly measure our self-worth by online engagement rather than personal connections and achievements (Tb to when the most important part of your birthday was how many people had posted “Happy Birthday” to you on Facebook). This has meant that many of us are investing more time into our online networks than our real ones. People don’t even bother asking you about your holiday or that festival you went to in person anymore because they’ve already seen it all over your social media and probably liked or commented on several of your posts. Social media has meant that many of us feel this perpetual “need”* to showcase our “desirable” lives to everyone, and so we incessantly share online more than we would with that many people in the real world daily. And so, when selfies and tripods can’t get the perfect angle, we need an Instagram boyfriend (or god-forbid even a five-year-old child) to be clued up on how to take the perfect shareable shot so that we can continue to yield social approval from others online.
I know none of this is news, as many people have written about this problem at great length, but it feels like we have reached a tipping point where social media has become more of a reality than reality itself. It's as if the Black Mirror episode, where eye implants and mobile devices rate daily interactions to determine one’s socioeconomic status, is coming to life. Call me sinister, but I doubt it will be long until our social media status affects everything we do, from who we hang out with to which airline we fly with (arguably it is already, e.g. influencers getting access to exclusive parties).
But let’s not make this a reality. In this loneliness epidemic, we need each other more than ever. Get your partner to take a picture of you, of course, but stop spending hours doing it. When you are old and frail, I’m sure you won’t want to look back through the thousands of pictures you have of you peacing out below the Eiffel Tower, but rather reminisce on the funny conversations and life-long memories you made on that trip. You’re also ruining the view for others who just want to enjoy it without posting it all over social media, so please stop x
*I put “need” in quotation marks because I promise you that no one will think less of you if you don’t post what you had for breakfast this morning on TikTok.
Conversation Starters
Will you be repping the political party of your choosing with some snazzy merch in the run-up to the General election? - Despite my profound disdain for Donald Trump, I must admit his red MAGA cap became a pretty iconic fashion statement back in 2016 and, impressively, its influence persists today. It appears this successful fusion of fashion and politics hasn’t gone unnoticed by the UK’s political parties, with many pushing sales for their own memorabilia in the run-up to the General election.
The Conservatives have remained, well, conservative in their merch. Tory superfans can choose from a simple, chic, navy baseball cap adorned with Tory branding, to a navy wash bag imprinted with the party’s symbolic oak tree or a mug with the slogan “Clear plan, bold action, secure future” (definitely one my mum would keep at the back of the cupboard for the rat man alongside some PG tips).
For those more daring, the Conservatives have pushed the boat out slightly with some flip-flops (bound to make you the biggest walking ick if worn), or you can buy a babygrow with “Future Prime Minister” scrawled across it for your tiny Tory tot.
Over in camp Labour, the party’s merch is giving more “east London edgy” vibes. You can kit yourself out with a red Labour bucket hat, a “Totes not Tories” or “Totes Labour” totebag or, if you're a cyclist (which is apparently so Labour), you can even get a Labour high-vis armband, meaning even in the depths of night, people will know where your support lies.
However, a personal highlight of the SS24 political party merch has to be the Conservative’s offerings aimed at Labour. My favourites include the “A Dangerous Brew” mug, featuring caricatures of Rayner and Starmer resembling Hansel and Gretel about to be cooked in the oven (the cartoonist’s surname is Thatcher just to make it even better) and their “Top Trumped by the Unions” top trumps - a child’s game for a childish attempt to take down the opposition. It appears as if the Conservatives' fervent desperation for victory has culminated in cheap merchandise becoming their last bastion of hope.
Are you BYOBing this weekend? - Long thought of as a pastime exclusively for retirees, birdwatching has become the latest craze for Gen Z. Arguably a natural evolution from our generation’s obsession with all things gorpcore and nature, birdwatching has amassed 140.5 million views on TikTok. It’s no longer BYOB in the alcohol sense, but rather “bring your own binoculars” instead. Communities, such as Flock Together, are encouraging the masses to get outside in London’s local parks or the country’s remote forests to connect with the natural world while switching off from the bombardment of digital information. Apps, such as Merlin, which is essentially the Shazam for nature, can identify almost any birdsong based on a short clip played into your mobile phone’s microphone, making the sport very accessible to all. So will you be flying the boozy bender weekend nest to join this fanatic flock?
Is Club Pret about to be relegated? - I’ll admit it, I used to be the epitome of your stereotypical Pret girl. Nothing could beat a posh cheddar and pickle baguette, a pack of sea salt and cider vinegar crisps and a can of sparkling elderflower and grape - my death row meal of choice back in the day. I would get so excited about going on our family holidays, not just for the trip itself but because I knew we’d be getting breakfast AND lunch from Pret at the airport.
But times have changed. Pret has become over-priced (that cheese and chutney in a slab of soggy bread now costs £7.15 at my local store) and it’s not exactly a pleasant place to spend your lunch break, with its worn-out maroon PU leather sofas, squawky staff and airpod-plugged stale males en masse. I gave up my Pret subscription a while back before they upped the price to £30. The coffee tasted burnt and you could no longer “share” the subscription with your five other housemates. But the final straw of Pret’s demise is their half sandwiches, known as “slims,” which still cost you three whole bloody pounds—hardly a satisfying lunch without at least some fruit, a pack of crisps, a Twix and a fizzy drink, which at that point leaves you nearing the £20 mark. However, fear not; a better alternative might have arrived just in time to save the day.
After dominating the coffee subscription market for four long years, Pret now faces competition from another franchise offering a similar deal at a lower price. Leon’s “Roast Rewards” costs £25 and includes up to five hot drinks a day plus 20% off breakfast and lunch items (excluding meal deals), such as muffins, wraps, salads, rice boxes, cakes and pastries. I love Leon because it’s essentially “healthy” fast food and their menus change across the seasons, so you never really get bored. However, with 498 Pret locations in the UK compared to only 149 Leons, I can’t see many of us willing to walk that extra ten minutes to save a fiver each month (lunch breaks are precious), so perhaps Pret has us well and truly cuffed.
Lorna’s loves and loathes of the week
Loves
The wackiest ice cream shop in town is back for its third year- Well known for her bold designs and out-there branding, London fashion designer Anya Hindmarch is back with ‘The Ice Cream Project’ pop-up after raiding our store cupboards once again to inspire her latest collection of flavours. One of my biggest icks is someone who eats beige food. I’ve always said that if I went to an ice cream shop and the guy I was on a date with ordered vanilla, it would be done and dusted immediately. Luckily, there would be no problem with that at this pop-up shop, which is not one to miss for the more adventurous - the most boring flavour you’ll get is probably Maldon Sea Salt. Last year, I opted for the Kikkoman Soy Sauce, which was surprisingly delicious. But this year, along with all the other independent brand lovers (aka those who live or wish they lived in Hackney), I’ll obviously be devouring a couple of scoops of Perello Olive. But if olives aren’t your thing, why not try Heinz Baked Beans or Branston Piccalilli? Or for the sweeter-toothed, perhaps Jaffa Cakes, Tiptree Orange Marmalade, Bird’s Custard or Tropicana Orange Juice might tickle your fancy. I’ll see you down there (The Ice Cream Project is running until August 18).
Buses - Although some would rather be dragged by their hair than take a bus, I love them. I know they can be unreliable sometimes, making them less ideal when you’re in a rush, but I’d happily sit on a bus to any destination, no matter how long it took. I love taking the bus because it takes you through the streets rather than below them, allowing you to watch the world go by. People on the bus tend to be friendlier, often because they are older, and it's a great place for eavesdropping on interesting conversations. A few weeks ago, on a dreary Wednesday, I sat behind a group of elderly ladies who were deeply engrossed in a discussion about the Chelsea Flower Show. Before they got off, they wished each other well and hoped to meet again next year. These charming moments starkly contrast with the London Underground, where everyone is plugged into gadgets and silently bashing against each other. The bus is more economical and allows you to actually hear yourself think, unlike the underground with its deafening screeches - I’m convinced I'll have lost my hearing by the age of thirty if I keep using the Victoria line. You can properly zone out on the bus and listen to music, read a book, or simply ponder in peace. In a world that often feels rushed and disconnected, a bus ride is a simple pleasure, certainly compared to the alternative of being packed together like sardines in a sweatbox.
Loathes
Energy drinks - This week, doctors revealed that energy drinks are linked to sudden cardiac arrest, and in response to these findings, Labour announced that they would ban under-16s from being able to buy them in England if elected in July. Well, I say, why don’t they ban them full stop? There is nothing worse than when the person sitting next to you cracks open a Monster or a Red Bull. The sharp click and hiss of the ring pull, followed by the stench of nauseating sweet and sour petrol lingering in the air, fills me with crippling anxiety. You don’t even need to be drinking one to feel the sugar gnawing at your teeth like sandpaper on wood. Energy drink consumers are some of the most obnoxious people I know. It takes me back to my university days when someone would think it was appropriate to crack open a cold one at 10 a.m. It was so impossible to get a seat that you’d be stuck there next to them with no choice but to get high off the fumes. Stuff of absolute nightmares. If I ever run for Prime Minister (I mean as if), then you can count on me that no one will ever have to endure this horrific ordeal again.
The word “wholesome"—I'm sorry, but I just cannot stand it. Everything seems to be “wholesome” nowadays. People throw this word around at anything that is seen to be remotely “cute.” But when did reading the newspaper or a book, going on a walk, making a chicken, mushroom and leek pie or hanging out with your family become “wholesome.” It seems that you can’t do any normal activity nowadays that generations have been doing for centuries without someone saying, “Ohhh you’re so wholesome.” To be “wholesome” seems to have become aspirational because it means you’re shit together, unproblematic and sweet. Now obviously, it is great to be like that, but calling someone “wholesome” just sounds patronising. It makes my skin crawl. Perhaps it is unsurprising that so many of us are so obsessed with being "wholesome,” given our fixation on well-being these days. The original definition of “wholesome” is something that is good for your physical or mental well-being, but nowadays it basically covers anything. I guess in a world that can feel incredibly negative sometimes, perhaps it stems from people needing to recognise that there is still good in the world and to point this out very obviously. Who knows, but can we please rein it in?
That’s all for now. I hope next time you strike up a conversation with someone, it won't have to be “The weather really has been awful lately hasn’t it?”, “Any fun plans this evening?” or even worse… “How was your commute today?”
Love LP xx
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